The Horror, the horror

Posted on June 27, 2009
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laurenconrad

Being the kind of graduate snob who pretends to have read all of Ulysses, when I have only read the dirty bits, you will not be surprised to find out that I am a huge fan of Joseph Conrad.  So it comes as a shock to discover that he has a relative who is also a writer and  an actress who has achieved some recognition in a popular television show I have yet to see (it must clash with Lateline) called The Hills.  Though sadly, she lacks a sense of what is appropriate attire for a writer of quality fiction.  That aside and I am pleased to tell you that The Beast has come up with a marvelous game in which they put quotes from Classic Joseph Conrad novels alongside some from his young relative’s work and then you have to guess which is which – have a squizz and see how you do….

A.Then he got fever, and had to be carried in a hammock slung under a pole.

B.“They’ve installed a stripper pole in our living room.”

A. To tell you the truth, I was morbidly anxious to change my shoes and socks.

B.“You look pretty in that dress. And those peep-hole shoes are hot.”

A. The knitting old woman with the cat obtruded herself upon my memory as a most improper person to be sitting at the other end of such an affair.

B. “What about the one dancing near the DJ booth? Red hair, big boobs?”

A. “Oh my god…oh my god…oh my god.”

B. “The horror! The horror!”

answers

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